Say what? Shaq Went WHERE!?!

Sometimes I wish I could add special features to certain posts. If I had it my way, this one would be set to song; a soundtrack of Shaquille O'Neal's greatest hits!

I KNOW I GOT SKILLZ
WHAT'S UP DOC?
BIOLOGICAL DIDN'T BOTHER
TWisM FOR LIFE
YOU CAN'T STOP THE REIGN!

Why do I need a Shaq medley? Because the FORMER Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal has been traded to the Phoenix Suns. WHAT THE HELL, RIGHT!?! I said the same thing! In return Miami got PF Shawn Marion and G Marcus Banks. The deal became official yesterday after Shaq, almost surprisingly, passed a required team physical. This is the most shocking news since KG got traded from Minnesota to Boston last summer. The only difference is that I don't know if the addition will have the same effect in the West that it had in the East. Kevin Garnett took the Boston Celtics, one of leagues worst, into a power house. We'll just have to wait and see what this mix will be.

I'm a fan of the Diesel, but Shaq has been having one of his worst years on record. He's averaging a career low 14.9 points per game. Keep in mind, folks, that except for last season, Shaq averaged at least 20 points per year. His numbers have declined steadily since the 99-00 season, but that downward slope coincides with the increase in age. If this was baseball, Shaq would be getting stronger, leaner, faster AND he would make all his free throws. And yes, I am implying that he would be using steroids/HGH. But this is the NBA, and I'm not saying that guys don't use, but it's clear Superman isn't one of them. No offense to my man The Big Aristotle, but he's almost as old as Aristotle. He'll be 36 next month, and while that's not old as hell in basketball years, for a man his size, he's almost ancient. And not to mention the beating he takes on a daily basis. We all know Shaq is strong so when he hits a guy the impact is pretty clear. But what most people are blind to is the pressure put on him by the double and triple teams. AND the Hack-A-Shaq! Shaq is always getting bodied but a lot of calls don't go in his favor because he is so large so we rarely see him go flying across the court. He's gigantic; not just in height, but in weight. A body that large should be lazing around, not running up and down the court chasing after men half his size. But it's what he loves to do, so I support him.

The real question surrounding this trade seems to be, WHY!? I mean, Shaq is one of my all-time favorite players so my intention is not to trash him. When I was a kid watching basketball, Shaq-Fu was my idol in Orlando. Then in L.A. Sorta in Miami. And now Phoenix!?! What the bloodclaat!? I've always sided with Shaq, my homie-stromie, so I don't think he would have allowed a trade to a team that wasn't a contender and where he wouldn't fit in. The big issue now is that the Suns are a fast-paced team that loves to run the floor and score ad nauseum. 'How will Shaq adjust?' The same way he always does people!

At this point in his career, he knows that he can't go 48 minutes of all 82 games, but he can be a role player and contribute. He's still a force in the paint, he draws defenders off their men to cover him which inevitably leaves a shooter open. And there's no shortage of shooters in Phoenix. So I think he'll be fine. He's not as washed up as people would like to believe, and he'll start for the Suns. Shaq'll play a good chunk, and knowing he's going to have some quality minutes, he'll be more of a force on both sides of the ball. Shaq is a veteran who can also help the younger guys on the team, especially the other big men who need a massive hand to help guide them along. Plus I saw some info that said he's not the 325 pounds he was at the start of the season, but that when he weighed-in in Phoenix during the physical he was 312 pounds. A healthy, "light" Shaq is definitely more productive. I see him losing a bit more weight, running a lot more in the desert than in Miami, and being stronger. What more can you ask for?

I was a bit sad by the trade at first. I thought Shaq was going to finish up his career in Miami, but apparently 4.5 seasons was all he needed. Plus, in this day and age, where trades seem to happen daily, it's rare that a player plays for only one team his entire career. Shaq is in his 16th season in the NBA and his fourth, and hopefully final, team. Sure it would be really really REALLY interesting if he went full circle and finished up in Orlando. Not that the Magic need any help at this point with Dwight Howard being so dominant, but still... I mean, Penny Hardaway came back this season, for a few games at least, and he and Shaq were teammates once more! NOW imagine him reuniting with Kobe Bryant! That would be crazy! And I would love it!! Then we could argue over whose team it was, we'd hear rumors about fight during practice and in the locker rooms, then maybe some (ex)wife swapping...OOHH!! And then they can do a rap song together!! People give athletes a hard time when they rap, but I would venture to say that Shaq was one of the more successful ones. He had a few albums, and some hit songs. Kobe, on the other hand, could take some notes. Have you heard him rap? **Shudder**

---> Miami played their first game with Shaq officially off the roster last night, and lost 100-95 to the Detroit Pistons. There's no way to say whether or not the loss came as a result of Shaq's absence. He's already missed 14 games this season since injuring his hip diving for a loose ball. (Why big ass Shaq was DIVING for ANYTHING is a mystery to me; but I love the hustle!) Miami's playing the Philadelphia 76ers tonight, a game they'll probably lose. And I'm not saying that because Shaq-Fu is no longer MIA, but because Miami is 9-38 this season, and that's just the way their season is headed. From 2006 NBA Champions to the league's worst teams; worse than the Timberwolves, the Grizzlies AND the KNICKS!! Oh, how the might have fallen.

Return of the OGs

Things done changed yall!! Before, when someone said they were retiring, they actually retired. And STAYED retired. Nowadays people, athletes in particular, just throw that word out when they want to go on an extended vacation. Michael Jordan is the ORIGINAL OG in this fake retirement scheme. His ass retired twice! First in 1993 from the Chicago Bulls in order to uhhh, play baseball. His baseball career sank faster than the Titanic and he soon returned to his real calling, basketball in 1994. In 1998 after leading the Bulls to their 2nd three-peat (91-93, then 96-98) Jordan retired AGAIN!! Someone get this man a dictionary! Did he stay down? NOO! He came back to the NBA from 2001-2003 and played with the Washington Wizards, womp. Then he OFFICIALLY retired. I don't know though. I still get a sinking feeling that he's gonna pop up again, and lead the Charlotte Bobcats to a championship. *shudders* This offseason, there is a major shakeup. Several "retired" players are coming out the woodwork frantically waving their hands in the air saying, "Pick me! Pick me!" Let me just give you some names, Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway, Reggie Miller, Allan Houston and Charles Oakley. Wow, yeah, isn't that crazy!? There are more players on this list but I'm only dealing with the ones I care about.

Charles Oakley is will be 44 years old in December, and hasn't played since the '03 season. I really wonder about his stamina. Sure 40+ is good for pickup games and beating up on your adolescent children, but going against some of these young guys in the NBA? I guess if a team picks him up we'll get a chance to see. Not only that, he's refusing to come back for the league minimum! He wants CAKE, not "bullshit money!" I read in an interview that he wants a two-year, $10 million contract. But according to him, IT AIN'T ABOUT THE MONEY!! First of all, no one's gonna pay a 44 year old man that much money for n-e-thing! Michael Jordan may be your best friend, but YOU, gramps, are not MJ! Verdict: Stay retired ol' ass! Stick with car washin, they say you're good at it!

Allan Houston is serious about coming out of retirement and plans to give the NY Knicks the first crack at signing him, though he is also looking into other teams. 36 year old Houston spent 12 seasons in the NBA, and hasn't played since the 2004 season. He signed with the New York Knicks in 1996 as a free agent, and played his next nine seasons there. His last 2 seasons were limited by arthritis of the knee, the ailment that ultimately forced him to retire. The past year he's done some TV work with ESPN. Even though he hasn't played in two years, he is still under contract with the Knicks and is still getting paid to the tune of more than $20 million per season. Gettin paid, not played!! (Thanks Buju!) But uhhh, last I heard, arthritis is a chronic condition. While he may be feeling good now, once he gets back into the swing of two-a-days and the real pace of the game, does he really think he'll be able to hack it? Verdict: Stay Retired! Dude, you have ARTHRITIS!!

Reggie Miller, Mr. 3 Pointer, has been retired for 2 years, and spent his entire 18-year NBA career with the Indiana Pacers. He has also been on television as an NBA announcer on TNT's "Inside the NBA." Now he's being wooed by the Boston Celtics, a team that seems to be gettin high offa veterans. Reggie Miller's always been known for his clutch 3s and solid defense. Most of the guys on this list were forced out because of injury, but that wasn't the case with Miller. He just got older. Hell, you can't play forever! I actually think he'll have a better time at coming back than these prospects. He'll be 42 this month and would still be a considerable asset to any team, especially my Celtics. Yeah that's right, I said it. MY CELTICS! Verdict: Bring that ass on back!! Let's make it rain 3s on them hoes!!

Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway has already signed with a team, the MIAMI HEAT!! Yes people, that means that Penny and Shaq are teammates once more!! This reunion comes more than 13 years after they both played for the Orlando Magic. That was my team back in the day!! I am very, dare I say SUPER, excited for this hookup. For those that don't remember, Penny was Shaq's ORIGINAL sidekick, way before Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade. But if Penny still has it in him, I truly wish him all the best. Sure Shaq already has DWade, but it doesn't hurt to have 2 go-to guys! This was back in the day when I first really started loving basketball. I used to get Sports Illustrated mags with the tear-out posters! I had Penny all over my walls!! GASP!! Does this mean Lil' Penny is coming back too!?! YAY!! Ok, the truth? Penny left the league a hobbled veteran who had operation after operation to repair torn cartillage on his left knee. He has had at least 5 surgeries on that SAME ARTHRITIC knee! Clearly Miami saw him in action and thinks he has some juice left. One of my favorite NBA teams, I will DEFINITELY be watching. Verdict: Stay retired!! But I can't be mad atchya Anfernee! If it still works, use it. Hell, they're payin you for it...

It seems now there are more young, inexperienced players in the NBA than older, quality veterans. To counter this, the NBA, under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, instituted a rule that barred players from entering the NBA right out of high school and requiring them to be at least 1 year removed from HS graduation and/or 19 years old. The result? More college freshman entering the draft than ever before. And we've seen what happens with teams full of youngins. Not much!! I mean the Boston Celtics just traded 5 young prospects for 1, yes 1, 12 year veteran. That man? The Incomporable Kevin Garnett. And he only came onboard after the Celtics picked up another veteran shooter, Ray Allen. Garnett, Allen & Pierce - THE BIG THREE baby! Check for it! Teams for too long were interested in acquiring the hottest, youngest talent available, expecting them to come in the league and catapult them to victory. They found, instead, that without the benfit of formulative years playing in the NCAA, a lot of these young guys took several seasons to mature and develop into the type of players that could not only lead, but even support a franchise. This is if it happened at all. Not everyone can be a KG, Kobe or Lebron. Hell, just look at Darko Milicic & Kwame Brown! Now some teams are chock full of babies, and are lacking the skill, experience and leadership that veterans bring to the game.

Players that have already retired but feel they have some juice left in them, are now once again needed. They have a new role in the NBA, with their leadership and playoff experience in high demand. The league minimum for 10+ year veterans is a little over $1 million and many teams are willing to eat that cost because of what these guys can bring to the table. Some, like Houston & Hardaway, left the game due to injury. A couple of seasons off and some supersize rehab has left these guys with a lot more spring in their step! Other guys left the league without the one thing they all play for, the coveted championship. The ring baby!I mean hey, Alonzo Mourning came back after kidney surgery and refused to play with a team that wasn't going to win a championship. What did he end up with? The 2006 NBA Champions, the Miami Heat. Zo has been an invaluable treasure for that team. When Shaq was injured, Zo became the starter, and he is STILL blockin shots crazy!

All I can say is good luck to all the rest. Hell, who am I to judge?