Behind The Bench - NBA Wives Mind, Body & Spirit

Behind the Bench, the National Basketball Wives Association, held their annual Mind, Body & Spirit Conference in New York City from September 19 - September 23. Everything from guest speakers, financial management seminars, and pampering were available in this all inclusive weekend affair. This organization has been in existence for over a decade and is made up of over 100 talented and diverse women who are married to professional basketball players, both retired and active. These women do volunteer work, as well as donate financially to charities in several communities. Their motto includes the belief that as priveledged women they should be "committed to creating and strengthening internal and external alliances in order to impact and empower youth at risk by utilizing our network of resources across the country and worldwide."

This year, the group broadened their scope for this conference and invited wives of all the major leagues; football, baseball and hockey. Sponsors for the event included Tiffany & Co., Carol's Daughter, Sean John, Ambi, Bobbi Brown, Jimmy Choo and Premier Air. When I was first asked to cover this event, I was very intrigued. There are such negative stereotypes of wives of athletes that permeate our society; they are gold diggers who do nothing more than sit around and look pretty while spending their husbands millions. I have to admit, while I wasn't that extreme with my judgement, I did share some of those feelings. This conference changed my outlook and opinion on a group of women who are often mislabeled and misunderstood.

PHEW! There goes the official stuff. Now, for the juice! This past Friday I covered 2 events; the first was a wellness seminar, and the second was an auction/fundraiser. The forum was held at the Hilton Hotel, and the first thing I saw when I first walked in was a room full of amazingly beautiful women. I mean, wow. These athletes got some good taste! Or wait, is it the other way around? Hmm...The money in the room was almost tangible; Prada bags, Jimmy Choo shoes, diamonds and spot-on hair weaves. You would expect the air to be stuffy and haughty but on the contrary, it was very relaxing. Maybe it had something to do with the manicures, facials and full body massages all the women got the day before. Either way, they were all very welcoming.

Holly Robinson-Peete, wife of former NFL QB Rodney Peete, was one of the guest speakers. I thought to myself, what is she going to talk about? Her singing career? Hangin' with Mr. Cooper? I was so off base it wasn't even funny! She spoke about her children and her husband, and how her family is dealing with raising an autistic child. The Peete's have 4 children, 3 boys ad 1 girl, and their oldest, son RJ, is Autistic. Earlier that week she was actually on Oprah, along with actress Jenny McCarthy, helping to bring awareness about one of the fastest growing illnesses affecting children today. Mrs. Robinson-Peete spoke about what she believed some of the causes may be, and also insisted on parental input. It's easy to go with everything your pediatrician says but she encouraged the mothers in the room to trust their "mommy gut" and push physicians for more testing when they think something may be wrong with their children. Robinson-Peete addressed immunizations, in particular the MMR, Measles, Mumps & Rubella. These high dosage shots are administered altogether and some believe this booster shot to be one of the causes of Autism. She also promoted her most recent book, "Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!," a woman's guide to understanding football.

Motivational speaker, life coach, author and pastor Paula White also addressed the organization. Let me tell you, this woman was GOOD! She spoke about several of the issues that affect women married to such high powered, famous men. It is easy for a woman to lose herself in a marriage and become Mrs. Athlete or Mother-of-athletes-children. Instead, she encourages the women to stay true to their "authentic selves" and to work within their established boundaries. White spoke about living with personal integrity, and all the pitfalls that one can experience when ideals and morals are compromised. There was also the issue of dealing with outside women, and the husbands, who don't respect the sanctity of marriage, and women understanding that what is truly meant to be will be. Paula White was not only speaking to the wives in the audience; her words also touched me deeply. While her talk was directed towards the wives, I, as a single woman, could relate to and learn from many of the examples and guiding rules she set forth.

Another speaker that I have actually had the pleasure of meeting prior to this occasion is Dr, Hilda Hutcherson. She is a renowned sex therapist, co-director of the New York Center for Women’s Sexual Health, OB/GYN, and professor and author. Dr. Hilda writes sexual health columns in both Essence and Glamour and has been on shows such as Oprah, Montel Williams, and the Wendy Williams Experience. Dr. Hilda was there not only to answer the different intimacy questions the wives had, but also to promote her most recent book, Pleasure: A Woman's Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need and, Deserve. Is my plan to spill the dirt on all the secrets I learned during this particular panel? Well, my answer is no. There is such a thing as privacy, so we're just gonna front like I wasn't even there...I came away with much more than I expected, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to hear the speakers.

The next event was a Fundraiser/Auction held at the Louis Vuitton store in Manhattan. Look, I've never been in the store before and I don't even make eye contact with it when I walk past. But this night the store was shut-down for the Behind the Bench event and I was in there like swimwear loving every minute of it! Some of the notable celebrities in attendance were Elaine Brocco of The Sopranos, retired New York Jets running back Curtis Martin, and rapper Swizz Beatz. Several women were honored by the Behind the Bench Association, including Paula White for her motivational work and the new Life By Design Empowerment Center that she is opening in New York City. Holly Robinson-Peete received an award for her cause, The HollyRod Foundation, devoted to giving the less fortunate suffering with Parkinson's disease financial, physical and emotional support.

Sheila Johnson, co-creator of BET, Black Entertainment Television, and creator of Teen Summit, a show geared towards educating the youth, was also honored for her many philanthropic endeavors. Johnson is also part owner of several professional teams including the NBA's Washington Wizards and the WNBA's Washington Mystics. The entire evening the women shopped and proceeds from their LV purchases went to the organization and its charities. There was also an auction emceed by Charles Smith, retired NBA player and husband of the chairwoman, Lisa Johnson-Smith. A round-trip, private jet excursion for six to the 2008 NBA All-Star game in New Orleans was sponsored by Premier Air, the leading authority in exclusive jet service. The trip, valued at $20,000, also included tickets to the All-Star game, was won by Curtis Martin. Another notable moment that night was the gospel performance of a pregnant Deleon Richard-Sheffield, wife of ex-Yankee Gary Sheffield.